Woah, where did the time go? Wasn't it just October last week?

The year's coming to an end soon as well. How? Wasn't it just 2016 last month? Where did all that time go?

Wahhhh, on the other hand, this year has been one of the longest.

This year, I've learned so much about science and myself. I became a student ambassador for science in May and since then I've been asked to present about science and life at university to several high school students. It's incredibly daunting - I'm always so nervous whenever I have to present because I'm all too aware that when I speak sometimes, it has a touch of my Filipino accent, and I'm not sure why that embarrasses me.

Though to be honest, I enjoy doing these science presentation and I think it's great that I get to practice speaking with confidence in public. I love talking about science and all the things I've learned so far in my university career. Before, I was always doubting about whether or not this was the right path for me, but now I know that I am actually really passionate about science - to be more specific, biotechnology.

In my presentations, I also have to talk about the future in a science career, so it's got me thinking about what I could do with my degree when I finish university. One of the professions I've learned about and considering in pursuing is a science communicator, which I think is and will continue to rise in demand considering how connected our world has become (through social media, for example), how much easier it has become to collaborate with other scientists, and how much research are actually being conducted. I know I love writing and I love discovering the world, so this could be a future endeavour for me.

Academically, I am so proud to say that I achieved high distinctions for my assignments in Trends and Genetics. I don't think I've received such a mark since high school! It's very encouraging - receiving great marks for those subjects have made me want to study harder. Final results have not come out yet, but fingers crossed they are not so bad that my WAM (weighted average mark) suffers again. (Here's to also hoping that I pass Chemistry this sem...)

At work, I've gotten a lot more shifts, especially now that uni's over for the year. Sadly, I think all my money went to eating out, though I'm pretty sure that I went out a lot less this year than last. Argh, I don't know! I'm hoping to get more shifts this summer before we go to the Philippines so that I can at least have some pocket money. Oh LORD help me save up!


Currently, I'm reading Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. It's endearing and nostalgic. I might write a review later, I haven't written a book review in a while... Or an essay.

Two weeks ago (17 November), we went to Sam Smith's concert! I wanted to write about it, but that weekend was exhausting. We first attended a close family friend's baby shower - I drove! I usually just ride in someone else's car when going to family friends' events, but I had to drive because of reasons (can't remember why tbh). And driving is tiiiiring.

Sam Smith was f-cking fantastic! The concert was so intimate and it was just a night of singing! Our seats were actually so good, too. I love concerts because it's the one place where there are lots of people and you can dance without worrying about others judge you (other than a club, of course). I'm not the best dancer and when I do it's like a fish struggling to survive on land. Anyways, Sam really encouraged everyone to just enjoy themselves and dance and live in the moment.


We also went to Bruno Mars' concert this year, and it was fantastic! Being in that arena, seeing thousands of people singing along to his songs, dancing like nobody cared, waving flashes of light, it was breath-taking. All the support from his fans, the successes he had achieved... It made me feel proud that Bruno Mars was this fellow Filipino, who has accomplished so many great things already. It was, as Jenny Zhang has described in one of her essays, "a stab of pride that comes with associating yourself with something powerful".

I worry too much about what others think. Which is why I think my job as a kids entertainer (at the fairies) and science ambassador is good for me, because they are teaching me to be more confident and to just have fun.

This Saturday, I worked as a Christmas elf balloon twister in the city, which meant having lots of interactions with people. Before, I would have been embarrassed about the costume and my job but guess what? I pulled through and just acted silly in front of the children, their parents, and any passersby. I realised that I enjoy this job because I get to play pretend, one of my favourite activities when I was a child. "This is a magic balloon from fairyland! And Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my best friend!" 


I remember running around with my cousins in the Philippines and we would pretend to be these characters from this popular fantasy teleserye, Encantadia. We waved sticks around and called them swords, we twirled as if we were dissipating in thin air, we flung our arms around like we controlled the air, the water, the ground, the fire.

On the flip side, I occasionally make the mistake of comparing myself with my other friends. There they are doing adulting so well, working in offices, wearing a staff lanyard (I want one!), and dressing in business attire. Yet, here I was, still doing a silly job... Although the more I think about it, the more I realise that I probably won't be able to stand it, having to sit still in a 9-5 box... I don't think I can!!! I would just end up endless monitoring the clock until it's home time. Well, at least for now... Who knows, in the future, I might end up in an office?

I'm happy to be where I am today.

How is your year? Was it as eventful as mine? Are you happy to be where you are?

The past week was busy. I spent the majority of it studying for my Trends in Biotech quiz 2. No joke, every day Ate and I didn't sleep until 2 in the morning because she would be working on whatever on her laptop and I would be rewriting and memorising notes.

There was some drama at uni. It was weird because I haven't experienced drama like that since high school. Also, I find it so weird that I graduated from high school two years ago. It doesn't seem so long ago that I was having water fights with my friends at the senior area. But it's been two years, and some of those friends I haven't seen since.

By Friday, I was exhausted and I got sick. It doesn't help that Sydney's been so rainy lately. Even now, I still don't feel so well. I guess I'm just going to sleep it off in the next two days since I don't have classes on Monday and Tuesday.

It's my tenth volume of Sunday Currently! I'm so happy because it's my favourite number - my birthday falls on the tenth of January (narcissistic much?).

Stuvac is finished and I'm moping cause I didn't use it productively. Whose fault is that, Justine?!

So, in order to feel productive, I'm writing a blog post today. Here it goes.

Winter is ending. *queue the Game of Thrones theme song*

In less than a week, spring will grace us with its presence. And off winter goes!

I know, I know. I've been complaining nonstop about how I hate winter so much. I hate feeling cold. I hate that I can only ever wear pants. I hate always sniffing because I got sick. I hate missing the sun's warmth. However, I think winter just needs some appreciation. So here is a list of things I love about winter.

1. Oversized jumpers (or hoodies). They are so comfortable and you can never go wrong with a jumper and jeans attire.

2. Reusable clothes. Because you're wearing thousands of layers, and because you don't sweat as much as during the summer, you don't need to change your outfit every day. You can get away with wearing exactly the same shirt and pants combination as you did the previous day, nobody would notice it under your oversized jumper.



3. Cardigans. They just work so well with any outfit - whether your wearing pants, skirt, or dress. It's cute.


4. Hot showers. After a long day of freezing your ass off, a long, hot shower is all you need to release the tension from your muscles. I also love seeing the steam fog the windows and mirrors.

5. Newly washed fluffy blankets, towels, and rugs, straight out of the dryer or the heater. Nothing more comforting than coming out of the shower, wiping your feet to dry on the wooly rug and wrapping a snug towel around yourself. After drying off yourself, you get to jump into bed with fluffy blankets.



6. Beanies. I love wearing them! I just feel so much cuter when I wear them. Plus, I can hide my bed hair (I always forget to brush my hair before going out).



7. Hot chocolate. Holding onto warm cups hot chocolate (bought from the best coffee cart on campus) to defrost your shivering fingers is honestly the best feeling.



8. A deeper appreciation for the sun's warmth. The stinging hug of the wind is always accompanied by the sun's warm kisses. During the summer, we always seem to curse the sun for bringing us the sweltering heat, so it's good to appreciate it for bringing us exactly what we curse it for during the cool weather.

9. Scarves. You can't wear them during summer because that would just be torture. In winter, it's a a form of solace... or a fashion statement.

10. Lastly, your love one's warm embrace. This one's pretty self-explanatory. Whether it refers to your partner, or your friends, or your family, hugs always warm one's heart, especially during winter.

What are your favourite things about winter?

Woke up with unpleasant cramps today. As always, and as per the past week (because I was sick), I just stayed home today. Still recovering from my sickness, so it was good that I didn't have much on the agenda today. Right now...

Survived the first week back to uni alright. I felt like it was a really productive week. We had two BABSOC events that went quite smoothly, might I say. I learned a lot from the Interview Workshop that was hosted by a career advisor - I think - at the university. Hopefully, we can run more workshops like that in the future. We also had a Morning Tea as a welcome back event. Organising the little details was fun, but the preparation right before the event was stressful. Nevertheless, I got positive feedback, and that makes me feel satisfied with that day's work.


How did your Sunday go?

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It's weird how we have never actually really seen ourselves. Yes, we've seen ourselves in the mirror, but it is only a reflection, which means that the image that we see has been transformed in some way by light waves. A photograph is a still image, and while it captures a moment, it does not quite capture the whole moment. In the end, it makes the image really not of ourselves.

Ceci n'est pas une pipe, right?

Wouldn't it be cool, though, to have an out-of-body type of experience, to have a glimpse of ourselves? To be able to see how others see us... Or what they see in us.

Too often we belittle ourselves in our eyes. We all have doubts, even the most confident people. Or maybe I'm generalising... My friends say that I'm not at all awkward (even though I see myself as one of the most awkward people I know) but actually, to them, I look quite confident. Between you and I, though, my heart always races whenever I talk to anyone. I have to practice the stuff that I say over and over in my head before saying so out loud. I always end up stuffing up the words anyways. Sometimes, when I don't use my mind and just let the senseless words escape my lips and realise that maybe that wasn't the right thing to say... I question why people are friends with me. That's why I like text-messaging when it comes to talking about serious things. There is less chance of me saying insensitive words.

Regardless of these - of how stupid and annoying and useless I may see myself as - my friends are still there. They stay. Because maybe they see a beautiful person, who also sees the beauty in them. Maybe that's enough for them to stay, to have somebody believe in them and to have somebody to believe in. Funny... It sounds like a mirror.

I'm going to sign off for now. It's one in the morning and I have work at eight so I will need to wake up soon.

Yours,
Justine

PS: maybe it's time that I read Jean Baudrillard's whole philosophy about Simulacra and Simulation.